Harvard to Begin Experimental Acceptance of “Less Intelligent” Students

harvard logoCambridge, MA―Harvard College recently announced that it would begin accepting a certain number of “less intelligent” students to further broaden the diversity of its student body.

“We need more dumb people at our university.” – “William Fitzsimmons, Dean of Admissions, Harvard

“We need more dumb people at our university.” – William Fitzsimmons, Dean of Admissions, Harvard

“Harvard welcomes students from across the country and all over the world, with diverse backgrounds and far-ranging talents and interests,” noted long time dean of admissions William Fitzsimmons. “We’ve come to recognize that there is no reason that an applicant should be discriminated against because of his or her lack of intelligence or academic potential.”

While opposition to this dynamic shift in policy has been growing, most of the students and alumni we’ve talked to have been very receptive to the idea.

“I think it’s a great,” said Danielle Stone, Class of 2016. “I think we will all benefit from an institution with more cognitive diversity. You can only learn so much from smart people; dumb people have a lot to offer as well.”

“I’ve worked with some real dumbasses throughout my career,” says Jerimiah Sledge, Class of 1979. “Sometimes there was just too much incompetence to deal with. I only wish I had more exposure to dumb people as an undergrad before I got out in the real world.”

It’s not exactly clear what Harvard considers “less intelligent” but an associate dean of admissions was overheard saying at the “Faculty Club” that she was targeting students with a GPA between 1.8 and 2.2 and a composite SAT score less than 1600.

Fitzsimmons has not disclosed the total number of students in the program but said the first class of “challenge students” should be matriculating this fall.